Kentucky Meat Shower

      Ok so the title may seem a bit strange. Telling you that it's the title of a song on the album I'm listening too probably doesn't make it less weird. I chose it because I have been thinking a lot about Kentucky lately and it seemed appropriate. When I tell people where I grew up they are often incredulous. It usual starts with something like "But you don't have an accent!" and I usually just shrug and laugh and acknowledge the curiousness of this fact and move on. That has gotten me thinking though, and we all know what happens next...

     Kentucky has been in the news a lot lately, or at least one weird woman from Kentucky has been, and people in my life here in New York have obviously made the connection that I am from Kentucky. I get asked about how I feel about it and I give the predictable but entirely honest embarrassed head shake or face palm. I have to say though that it is a strange experience to be the expert witness on this topic. I know New York is a city of transplants, but I feel like an oddity even though I know I really shouldn't. I've kind of felt like an outsider my whole life though. A big part of the reason why is exactly because I don't sound like I'm from Kentucky (whatever that is supposed to sound like). The other side of that though is why I don't sound like I'm from Kentucky. I guess on some level I wanted to be an outsider and didn't want to be a part of that world entirely. Maybe that's why I didn't let it fully sink in. I had to keep myself separate somehow and language was a good place to start. It wasn't a decision on my part, it just kind of happened that way, but I think it must mean something. I'm a shrink after all, this is just how we think. Of course I usually just tell people it's because my parents are from Ohio...

      This brings me back to the strange little woman in the weird dress who has been stirring up so much controversy in Rowan County. I don't understand her. I know a lot of people both in and out of Kentucky don't, but a lot of people are also genuinely supportive of her. They are supportive of the bizarre idea that one person's religious beliefs trump the rights of literally everyone around her, at least when they share those beliefs. She is the center of the universe and we are supposed to bow to her will. Since when is that what American values are about? Since when is that what Christian values are about? I feel like the world I grew up in those small towns in the Bluegrass State has gone mad. I know a lot of people probably believed the way Kim Davis believes but people were also kind and sensible. They let people live and minded their own business. Apparently I missed something.

     In general it seems like the world is a very different place now, a more bitter and intolerant place. There's no room for being weird or complex unless it's to fulfill some sort of stereotype. We have to be all one thing or another. We have to be what's expected of us and can't really be three dimensional. Kim Davis has become a caricature because that's what she thinks she has to be in order to be true to her beliefs, and we're all going along for the ride. We have to be the cold, cynical liberals chastising her or the right wing talking heads making fools of ourselves defending her. There's no nuance, no empathy, and no compassion. There isn't any from her or for her. So with that being said, I don't agree with her, and am going to laugh at her, but I am also going to feel some compassion for her. I am also going to embrace where I'm from, where I am, and where I'm going. I'm going to laugh at myself but also have compassion for myself. Kim and I are from the same little corner of the world after all, and there's room enough for both of us.

      One last thing: do your damn job or resign. There are gay people in Kentucky and they can get married. Deal with it or you're going to find yourself on the losing end of a Kentucky Meat Shower (whatever the hell that is).